"...and my relationship with my cat is verbally abusive and co-dependant."

So as usually when I can’t sleep, I’m thinking.

And I’m thinking a lot about my life.

So, of course, the past changed where my life would go. I mean, okay, at two I didn’t really have an idea of where my life was going, but by nine I guess had some idea. Or someone did.

Anyway, still, the amount of time I’d spent under men, and the number of men I’d been under… Or on top of… Or had some sort of sexual contact with, by 12, was probably more than most women are in their entire lives, you know, unless they happen to work in a sex trade or happen to be a mega-slut.

This has left me more than mentally and physically scarred.

I mean okay, physically, I’m not too bad visibly, most my scars are self-inflicted, but mentally I might as well be a duck for all the mental capabilities I have sometimes.

I kind of wonder who I might be today otherwise, but I don’t want to think on it too long.

So much has happened in my life that has made my trust for humanity completely die.

From my father giving up on stopping my mother putting me put in the situations she did, to what happened in those situations, I don’t even know how to work in real relationships, because I’m so used to relationships being manipulation, rape, money and just plain sick.

I can’t help that most our ideas of relationships with humans are built around child-prostitution and being mentally-fucked by my mother into clinging blindly to her and getting fucked for it, literally.

My healthiest relationship is with my rats, I mean, my relationship my dog is that we comfort each other with rough playfighting that’s almost her biting me and almost me hitting her except we both enjoy it, and my relationship with my cat is verbally abusive and co-dependant.

You know, that last sentence makes me think I’ve been awake too long, but I’m going to carry on anyway.

I find it so hard to have relationships that aren’t abusive that I just get those relationships instead because they last and we’re told that the longer a relationship lasts the better it is now.

 I spent most my early years being emotionally, physically and mentally shared by three main sexual relationships, and a lot more lesser ones, then people complain when I don’t understand normal relationships, monogamy and sex.

If I’m happy, and other people can be happy in that situation, and no one is spontaneously exploding, is it really a bad thing that my childhood completely and utterly fucked over my ideas of relationships? 

Things just get better.

So, I got a full formal apology from the operational manager of the company I work for, and she is finding me a new placement in that company, which should happen in the next month at most. Yay! I can't wait to start working again, I've missed it a lot.

And ugh, my new therapist is just the best therapist I've seen so far. I explained about all of us to her, and she was so great about it. I explained to her that Elsa kept wanting to come out and play when she was around my therapist's toys, and my therapist asked me to tell her when Elsa would like to come out and play, and she would be allowed.
Aah. I'm so happy with this.
Hurry up Monday please!

And as well as that, we finally persuaded Mai that, if she is going to be wearing her clothing to see our therapist, she should buy herself some clothing. So, she's got a few new pieces to wear now.

And I'll be going to camden for a birthday party later this month, which will be great!

On the downside, Dolly is in a massive down spiral of delusion and psychosis.
It's a pretty awful feeling, and I really, really hate it.
I ache all over and sleeping is very difficult and I have new and more horrible memories than before.

I just hope things get better soon for that.

And now I don't have a job, but I do have a lawyer and a therapist.

So, yay! I got fired because my ex-boss wanted me to get fired. But I'm getting a lawyer for unlawful dismissal. So we'll see how that goes.
And I got a new therapist. She seems really nice, and the younger ones seem to like the feeling of her, so we'll see how that goes too.
Not a lot more I can say really. Just yay, ,my life is awful and fucked up right now!

Oh, the hilarity.

So, its raining too hard to take my dog out, and I'm browsing the internet for DID/MPD humour, so, like every other site around that, here's some of mine. 

"Oh yes, I had the same trouble with some of my multiple personality patients; one would always claim that the other one sent the check." - Frasier Crane

Bingo cards for (1) people who have aren't and have never been multiple, and (2) people who have 'integrated'. Either actually have and are being cunts about it, or just want to say they have so they don't have to bother faking actual DID. 

(1)

(2)

Drinking game for any program about dissociatives, based on The United States Of Tara http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/drinkgame.html

http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/mymom-parody.pdf A hilarious parody of this book. http://www.sidran.org/pdf/mymomisdifferent.pdf 

A Patient's Guide to Keeping the Therapist's Attention:

• Insist that one of your other personalities already paid last month's therapy bill.
• Lie down under the couch.
• Express concern that you are not narcissistic enough.
• Bark.
• Shout "Eureka!" after your therapist makes an interpretation.
• Play dead.
• As your therapist hands you the therapy bill, put on a pair of latex rubber gloves to accept it. 

If I find more, I'll add it, or do a new one. 

God Loves Little Girls, Video clips, and Dolly

So, I've started finally writing my autobiography from the bits of scrapped writing I've had around.
It'll take forever I expect, but I'll post updates, and pages. It'll be called God Loves Little Girls, and will be under Mai's name. I'm also expecting to do some video clips of our surrounding and things soon, and information about us.
I also finished the drawings I was doing, and as soon as my laptop gets back, I'll digitalize them and put them up.

And on the last note,
Dolly has been at her usual evilness again.
She tricked Nate into letting her out, then cut when she could.
Then when Sara defended against her, she cut up the inside of my thighs to scare her, and then stole Sara into her realm.
Confusing, and not pleasant.
We don't know what's going on, but both of them and Mai are still missing...

And honestly, I have no sympathy for you.

You know. If you had the strength to survive what you have, why would you then go ahead and forget all of that because 'life is hard'?
Well yes, I thought you'd have realized that.
You cannot say that my efforts are far easier than yours because I am stronger, as I'm sure I'm not.
At one point, you did all you could just to live, as did I, and now you cannot get through the day without your pills. Is that really what you dreamed the better life would be?
Honestly, I would rather have been stuck underneath a usually unwashed and mentally unstable man with parts of him inside my 5 year old self, than living through pills and cutting myself because I cannot do it enough to die.
Not that I'm telling you to die, nor do I want you to.
But when I can think enough to think of what I wanted at that age, during that time, to decide that I never wanted to do that, so why would I then do it to myself?
I live for the ideals that my younger self would want me to be, and I think that you should be too.
True, I did a few things I'd rather have not done, and still do, but I am not perfect, and I don't wish to be.
I'd rather be relate-able.
My point on this is that if at one point, you did everything, including accepting such inhumane things as letting yourself be suffocated, raped, beaten and ingesting illegal substances that you had no idea wouldn't kill you, just to avoid certain death at the hands of those same people, why then go on to kill yourself, because you have been convinced that you aren't strong enough by those same people?
That is why I have no sympathy for you when you tell me I am stronger than you because I am working, and controlling when I have my breakdowns.

Cults, systematic abuse and rape.

I'm watching a documentary that I personally associate with more than any other one I've watched.
It's called Cult Killer, and it's about a man called Rick Rodriguez, the heir to the cult 'The Children Of God.'
This cult practiced the law of 'love', and basically, what that meant was that the members of the cult could do whatever they wanted, if they could put it under the excuse of love, including rape, incest and paedophillia.

Now, why do I associate with this? I don't think I've actually mentioned much specific about what happened in my childhood too much. But it probably didn't involve a cult, that I remember. I do, however, remember that it was, at least partly, about sexual abuse, under the guise of love, and religion.
"I do this because I love you, I don't want you to go to hell. We must get the demon out of you."
 Lots of things happened. Things that shouldn't, under the guise of religion.
And that's why I associate with this documentary.
They weren't content with just controlling and breaking my mind into different pieces, no.
They weren't even content with molesting and forcing me to do things to and for them, systematically and in an indoctrinating way.
Just those parts of it, not even the actually rape really effected me as much as the after and before parts.
Those were the parts that involved reciting bible verses, or saying over and over how much of an evil, sinful whore I was, before I understood the words.

If this doesn't make much sense, I'm extremely sorry, but as you can imagine, this is insanely hard to write.

Before I was four, I think I believed that the only way to stop myself from being evil, demonic, from going to hell and receiving eternal torture, was to let them do whatever they wanted with me.
First off, the first person any of us remembers was moderately kind.
Just a delusional man who believed we were the reincarnation of someone in the bible, possessed by demons.
Yes, there was quite a lot of sexual abuse, but it wasn't malicious.
This was probably between the ages of... two and six.
Mostly, it was bible verses, indoctrination and molestation.
Yes, there was some rape and physical abuse from that person, but it wasn't meant to hurt me. It wasn't meant to be bad.
That sounds completely ridiculous. But I am a logical enough person to understand when someone is too insane, too delusional to understand their actions are wrong. And I truly believe this was the case for the first person. I honestly believe that when they said they love me, they thought they meant it.
Abuse in this part included things like having salt water or chemically enhanced 'holy water' poured over or forced into my crotch, being spread over a cross or a different shaped grave, naked, and being molested, or made to give or receive oral sex, having various things inserted into various orifices, having bugs put onto my skin, and was punished if I made any move to remove them, having needles put into my gums, crotch and chest, and being emotionally and psychologically abused into believing in different parts of myself, which would each be put under different tortures, including being set against one another.
 I don't know why they stopped. They might have died, or moved, or anything along those lines, or just not been interested in me any more.

The second was purely a paedophile, I believe. With religious excuses, of course. As far as I can figure, they knew the other person, or accidentally came across things happening to me, and wanted to be in on it.
I can't imagine they knew about it for any other reason. I can't imagine this was a publicly known thing in the church.
This person cared less about psychological tortures and separate parts, and more about rape, molestation and keeping things extremely hidden.
This was between the ages of about 3 and 9, I think.
This involved a lot of sexual abuse, probably most of it. This also, I don't believe the majority of it, was malicious. But I do think they knew it was wrong, because of the efforts to cover it up. I think they tried to be nice to us most of the time, because they imagined we enjoyed all of the attention.
Around the time for this person starting, when I had just turned 3 about two months ago, I think, Sara had tried to tell her mother, but the result of this was that she went into complete denial, and made us apologize for saying these things to the people involved, and  then she was seriously harmed by hitting her head repeatedly on a gravestone. (We went to hospital shortly after, unconscious)
A lot of the previous things were included in this time zone, plus things done by the third person that I'll mention in the next paragraph.

The third person came when I was... 4/5ish, until I was 9. I think this was the last usual person.
This person was very sadistic and malicious.
This involved things like purposely painful rape for very little reason. Things like asphyxiation for up to five minutes, being bitten very hard on my chest and crotch, having so much forced into my mouth that the corners of my lips tore, having needles stabbed into my skin, having insects that bit or stung held in a glass against my skin, having my nails torn off quite low, being mentally and emotionally tortured and broken, being treated affectionately, and then beaten and raped for doing the slightest things wrong, being made to play games, with the prize being rape, and the punishment for losing being a more painful rape,

There is some things that happened that are completely locked up in boxes, that I'll never remember. I don't want to. If those are the ones I'm allowed to know, what ones are hidden still?
There are some that others don't want to say, or haven't put forward. Some we just don't remember.

It wasn't anything to do with a cult, that I know of. But it was ritual abuse, by more than one person. And it was religiously minded for the majority of it. There was a lot of indoctrination.
They completely and utterly ruined my mind. And I don't completely hate them for it, I think that's the worst bit, for me.
If I met them today, I'd probably just walk away, because there's nothing left to say about it.
Sure, I'd want them locked up for other people's benefit. But I have no hate for them.

Cherrie and Elsa

So, I know I haven't posted in a while (And I'm very, very sorry.)
But my laptop has been broken again, and I started work (Which is great.)
Though, now I have lots to write about.

First of all, I'm working on drawings pictures for all of us, to get a more specific picture than the ones I found online, which has been distracting me from writing. Those should all be done soon, so I'll update when they are.

I'm currently ill, which is why I'm not working today, which is not nice.

I'd also like to introduce Elsa, who slightly-less-than-recently, reappeared, and Cherrie, who has now been around a few months, but I never got around to introducing her.

Elsa:

 Elsa varies between about 3 and 6, usually very rapidly, so it's hard to tell her exact age. She suffers delusions based on flashbacks, which make her unstable a lot, but is otherwise quite happy. She absolutely hates being alone, and being in silence, because both things make her delusions a lot worse. She gets very panicky when she can't contact someone or when they don't talk to her. She loves My Little Pony, and is very cuddly.

 

Cherrie:

Cherrie is 9, and is not too bad off, aside from being slightly nymphomanic, and having anger control issues. In the past, she's done some things like painting her entire body in black paint, and trying to jump off a balcony, which caused her to be locked up for quite a while. She was eventually let out earlier this year again, and has been mostly behaving herself. Part of this, I think, is due to her relationship with Celestia, though Cherrie vehemently defends the fact that she's straight. She can't control her emotions very well, and often gets in trouble because of it.




Well, there's that done.

Left early, Took my dog.

I feel terrible for just disappearing, but for one thing, I actually -was- not here. Someone I don't know called Cherry was. So, you can't blame me. I don't even know if she knew about the existence of this thing.

Anyway, I do exist. 

I'm still waiting to start my job. My CRB (A criminal back ground check) hasn't come back yet, so I'm waiting on that. 

And I got my creative streak back, yay! 

I've been working on clothing designs and such, and getting back into my violin. 

If I end up recording any of my playing, then I'll put it on here to listen to. 

Dolly is still... Not recovered from whatever happened on the horse-experience, and following an argument with the boyfriend, Lily has comatose'd. Anyway. That's my updates.

The other day, at 5:40am, I left the house, took my dog, and ended up back at the graveyard where most things happened. I stayed there for about half an hour, just sitting and laying down on places that I've been before. Unpleasantly last time, however. Just thinking. 

You can't hurt me now, because you'd be... Well. I don't actually know how old you'd be now. Because I don't know you, or anything about you, really. But you couldn't hurt me any more. Even together, I would still be able to escape now, I expect. Not that you'd want me now I'm all grown up. 

And yes, I know there's a book with the same title as this post, it's named specially.

- Kitty

Oh, also, my therapist backed down as soon as she had to present proof. Yay! 

Glorifying Childhood Rape

From Chanpai's tumblr :

To all the teenage hipsters glorifying a Lolita lifestyle (?) and referring to themselves as Lolitas
Lolita the character is not and was not sexually empowered, awesome, hip, or rad.
She was repeatedly raped by an abductor.
If you think the character is sexy or hot and you want to be like her, you don’t know how to read.
Pick up the fucking book and read it.
Lolita the book is considered a masterpiece because it is one of the earliest examples of a protagonist (not Lolita, by the way, but her rapist) being utterly unlikable and unsympathetic. It is well-written but incredibly disturbing and not for the faint of heart.
Put away the infantile clothing and the lollipops and the false eyelashes and stop calling yourself a Lolita.

*Edited to add* For the record, I’m not referring to the Japanese fashion trend. I think the choice in name is poor and the fashion itself is not something I would… you know, ever wear, but whatever. Plenty of people don’t like what I wear and to each his own. I am referring to teenage girls who call themselves Lolitas because they have their ass hanging out on Facebook.

So. I agree with this viewpoint. But I also just wanted to say that one of the nicknames people have given me is 'Lolita'. And I embrace this.
 Because that did happen to me. Dolly especially. She isn't sexually-empowered, or someone to look up to and embraced. She is a completely fucked up person. She is ruined, and broken, and a terrible person because of her experiences.

She doesn't dress like a little girl. She's a 12 year old girl that uses sex and lust to get what she wants, no matter what the cost to her safety or mental well being, because she was raped so many times that she doesn't see it as anything other than a transaction.

I'll pretend that it's sex instead of rape, so that you won't hurt me quite as badly, so I can feel like I have some control. 

Don't want to be like that. 

Lolita was a little girl in a bad situation who turned to an abuser because she was desperate for some affectionate attention because her mother was neglectful. She ended up getting repeatedly raped and abused. No one should want that. No one should be like that. 

But, some of us are. 

And when you use it to describe yourself when you're choosing to dress slutty and do slutty things because you find it fun, it takes it away as a label for abuse victims to use, because no one is able to take it seriously. 

Lolita is an abuse label, not a fashion trend. 

It isn't sexy to be an abuse victim. It isn't sexy to be raped.

There's nothing hot about being a sexualized child. 

True, my story is very different to that of Lolita, but the resonance is the same, I guess.

(Just to note, I have nothing against Lolita fashion, and indulge in it occasionally, because I love the old fashion feel of it, but the name is very unfortunate.)

Lily's picture #4

Lily drew this for a friend of mine, Leah, and she put the picture on her tumblr, and now has a fan for life in my Lily. Thank you so much for being amazing and making at least one of us happy when it feels like the entire world is falling down. 

 

Intense pain and my therapist hates me.

So, this week has been... Interesting.
Starting from when Nate went to see her on monday, our therapist says that she doesn't want us to work, because she believes (After seeing us 5 times, and being completely incompetent), that we are too unstable to work.
Despite doing all of the assessments and things to prove that we're not, they say we are apparently 'dangerous', and for absolutely no reason, as our therapist said herself.
So, we may not be able to work if they get through with screwing up our life for no reason.

Then, wednesday, more assessments, and again, they said that there's no reason for them to think I'm at risk to myself or anyone else.... And yet they demanded to see me earlier today.


Thursday, Dolly was going to visit a horse for share, got lost, eventually found her way there, and ended up seeing a very stubborn horse that was larger than we'd been told it was, that was none too happy to see us. So, she got on it a bit later, and it was very fast even walking. she thought that, okay, it's a speedy horse. What's the worst thing that could happen? And the owner of it wanted to show her how good he was on the road, so we went out with Dolly on him and her walking alongside. All was fine, we were just chatting about him, and about horses in general, and then she decided to show Dolly how he trotted... That was the mistake.
It was all fine for a small trot, and then when it was supposed to stop, instead, the horse decided that, no, it wanted to canter off back to the stable. Her, not being all that experienced on a spooked horse, was clinging madly onto this insane ex-racing horse as it went about half a mile down country lanes, with cars passing and stopping around. And then she freaked out, start to fall, and let Nate take over. He fell off very painfully into gravel and puddle.

And now today, we went back to our therapist, and got confirmation that she has no reason for thinking we're dangerous, or unstable, but they are going to wreck my life anyway. And I am in so, so much pain. With any luck, I'll die soon.

I am super annoyed at this therapy thing, because they're blackmailing me into keeping going there, and the more tell them that them doing that is distressing me, the more they invade my life. Can they not see that they are what's making my life hell?

Kitty 

Dissociative Identity Disorder by Cyc (Rantings Of A Gothic Atheist)

From The Rantings Of A Gothic Atheist post on Disassociative Identity Disorder, full post is on there, this is just snippets of it. Please go to the link to view the full article. 

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), or if you go by its common name, multiple personality disorder, is an interesting subject to say the least. It is also a subject with which there is much contention. There are even some that claim it does not even exist. 

The reason for the splitting comes down to survival in most cases. While not always the case, DID generally forms in cases of severe childhood abuse. The torment the individual goes through becomes more than they can bear so the mind attempts to wipe it out, pressing it down and creating a new 'person' to deal with the new situation. This way the alters (the other personalities) can take the abuse in pieces so that they are not overwhelmed by so much trauma. When the splitting occurs, parts of the whole are often separated, leaving the alters to perform different roles.  

Most of the time, a person with DID is so good at acting 'normal' that nothing seems wrong with them at all. This is all part of the survival, acting normal, in abusive situations is the best way to avoid furthering the situation. Acting abnormal in any way only singles out the person for further abuse. So the person hides it, often from themselves (as the memories are divided just as the personalities are). 

Once it is accepted, communication between the alters may commence. In some cases the barriers of the mind are thin enough that they may communicate with one another freely. Other times, they are trapped separately and only a few can talk to one another with each having their own place. Some may remain in hiding from the others, still too terrified or feeling too alone to be able to contact the others. In some instances a reunification may occur, but only if all personalities are willing.  

 It has always been exceedingly rare and while its prevalence has never been accurately noted, it is believed to form in around .05% of the population.  

An unusual occurrence can occur where an alter of the alternate gender, for whatever reason, forms. Some alters may not even be quite human if the need arises. If the condition calls for a more animalistic being to survive the situation, cope with the emotions, or because something occurs that cannot be understood, these may also form. 

While I disagree on a few minor points (Like the occurrence of alternate gender alters forming being unusual), in general, I find the article very accurate and an easy way to either begin learning about DID, or to continue learning about it in more detail, as the article does go into detail in some places, while explaining it all very well, as Cyc often does.

Nora

So, I've found out why I've had intensely painful headaches the past month and a half. Apparently, I accidentally created Nora.
Now, I don't know a lot about her, but I do know that she's extremely forgetful, and still thinks it's around 1900... Anyway, Mai found a picture that looks like her.

Nora

She's 32, easily upset-able, and doesn't realise when she's shouting right in my ear when she's 'thinking'.

Hmm. With any luck, she'll calm down sooner or later. And it's a great thing that we're not trying to integrate, or this would make things so much harder. 

Kitty 

Dolly Stole Me

So, Dolly had stolen our body for the past... Almost a week. Not only do my wrists look like they've been attacked by some sort of mutant-fanged-animal, but my room was a massive mess, and apparently I need to talk to a social services person about my childhood. Not doing that. Mai can do it. I need to shower. Ugh.
Anyway, I'm going to go shower, and look like I've been dressed and made up all day, despite that so far, I'm in pjyamas, dressing gown and one of Nate's shirt. Lily likes to wear them to bed.
And she got this song stuck in my head...

Kitty 

I'm an adult!

So... I just got a job. (Yay!) and I was driving back with my mother after getting my hair cut, and then this conversation  happened.

Me: Hey, mum, I got a job!
Mum: Yes, you did.
Me: Guess what that makes me?!
Mum: What?
Me: An adult!

She must be so proud of me. Then she asked me to put the christmas decorations down.
"But muuuuum! I'm an aduuuult... I can't do that."

(Pictures from Hyperbole And A Half, possibly the best thing ever.  Go there now! Now! Now!)

I'm a selective adult.

Kitty

How I Got A Job By Wearing A Fireman's Hat And Eating Pretend Food.

So. Guess what? I think I have a job. And guess how I got it?
I played with toy horsies, and build blocks, and wore a fireman's hat while eating pretend food.
It was possibly the best interview ever.
And no, it's not at an asylum. It's at a nursery.
I will not die alone in my parent's basement with 42 cats!

Anyway. I had an interview with the manager, and she started by quickly reading my resume, and then she asked me questions for about... Ooh.. Half an hour? And I was super nervous. I never ask for a drink at interviews, and I always wish I did. My mouth was so dry, I'm surprised I didn't croak half the time. After that, the manager showed me around, and Mai, Alanna and I all did inner 'awww's over all the little children, and then I was settled into the playgroup area with two of the staff there.
At first, I was super awkward, and then a little girl gave me a toy cow and told me to build a house for it, and it went from there. I was given toy horses and storybooks and then she decided that since we were building houses for the animals, we should both have builder's hats. Apparently there was only one builder's hat, and I had a fireman's hat. And then she told me to go look for a doctor's hat. So I did, and while I was doing that, I was pulled into a little pretend house and sat down next to a cable-less keyboard, and told to wait for dinner. Soon after, I was presented with some fake food. Apparently I was eating it too realistically (Holding up to my mouth and going "nomnomnom"), because I was told by a little girl that "It's not real food, you're supposed to pretend to eat it!" And then the manager had apparently talked to one of the staff in the room, and asked me to go to her office and (While I was putting my shoes and coat back on), told me that she wanted to hire me. Yay! I felt so employable that she told me right there. So after waiting half an hour for someone to give me a lift home and making a lot of excited phone calls and texts and skype messages, I got home and called the education provider I'm using to get my childcare qualification to get them in contact with the nursery.
With any luck, on monday, I'll have a job to start soon!

Kitty

Lily Does A Disturbing Picture (Lily's Picture #3)

I warn you guys. This is not a nice picture. Lalala. Go look at unicorns. 

Fine. Don't. Click here. 

Are you happy now? 

Well, don't blame me, because I told you to go look at unicorns. 

Anyway. Description of the picture might be available later. I'll update when I don't need to go to bed. 

Lily's Picture #2

Lily's drawing of her and Celestia (Lessy) 

I'm Not An Adult Yet. I Still Like The Idea Of Cats On The Moon.

I want to say something for this post. I really do.
Mai added some links to the side with useful links. Yay for her.
I've sulked around in jeans and a hoodie like a sad person, and had pasta. Like a sad person.
And I have a job interview tomorrow. Yay!
I need to take my nail varnish off, because I get insane anxiety that EVERYTHING will get me not-hired.
And my psych monday. Oh my god. Am I looking forward to that? I don't think that the best thing about my week should be my psych appointment.

I'm super hyperactive lately. Mai thinks I'm odd because I wrote "Super power rangers GO!" on my hand. Well, Mai, you're in my head. So shut up. Ha.
This is getting more and more talking to myself. Today, I had a complete... I have no idea. I just remember that I was- Oh. Today I had a complete conversation by my self while I was waiting for Cyc to get back on the phone. It was about cats and the moon and evil cats. And it involved singing to my cat.
Did I say I had a job interview? Fuck, I'm not an adult yet.

Kitty

Cherrie

Update: Looking back at this.. I think Cherrie wrote it too.. 

Contact

So, I'm steadily getting things looking decent, with the help of the ever patient Celestia, who will hopefully continue to help me, as I have an extreme lack of knowledge on the internet. We've added a few links to the side, and will continue to as I think of more, or as more are made.

There's a link to Lily's Neopets page, which I created for her as a way of distracting her, as it distracted other younger ones in the past.

There's a twitter bit, that you can use to find us on there.

And there's a link to a very useful site for those that have suffered abuse called Fort Refuge. I really insist you try it if you are or have suffered, as well as my user names on the forum on there.

You can also email us (Lucysvoid@hotmail.co.uk), or use the comments section on this blog. 

We will get a few more things as time goes on, but for now, that's it. 

Mai 

Lily's Picture

Lily drew this for one of my boyfriend's alters, I think its rather cute.